Lying in the sweet, sultry grass,
I smell nothing but the day's rainfall
And wonder when this will end.
The sky is my fortress of solitude,
The daisies, my friends to confide in.
I lie on my bed of dandelions,
Remembering the days of believing in fairies,
Acknowledging my moments of strength,
And waiting for times of peace.
In my mind,
The blind see insecurities
While the crippled walk into homes of mishaps,
Both comforting the children of disaster.
Hearts hum silently while wandering down paths of ignorance,
Yet holding the knowledge of unseen justices.
In my mind,
The turmoil of poverty, neglect, diversion and arrogance turn
As I sit on the ledge of the fireplace in my living room, I breathe in the smoke and soot from the flames that burn bright. I watch the fire dance before me, not knowing that it has an audience. As soon as I turn my back, I know that it will continue its short life just as vibrant as before. The flames play tricks, dancing and flying. The embers crackle, singing a song of heartbreak; the embers can foresee its own future of pain and death. I want so badly to reach my hand into the fireplace and play; the fire seems to want the same. The brilliant colors of red, orange, white, copper and blue all seem to move clos
As I pace through the darkneing woods,
Searching for an escape,
My mind flashes to you.
The sun sets past the trees
Capturing the animals into the night
And I think of you.
The stars shine high beyond the paralyzing rainfall
While the moon wanes solomnly
And my heart races towards you.
Your silence pierces my ears
As though the sirens scream into the air.
Your existence haunts me,
Though you have vanished.
You quietly visit my thoughts and dreams,
Preying on my imagination.
And as I walk through the darkening woods,
I notice the details of the forest...
The details of you.
The flash of lightning in your eyes,
The night's w
living my life in shadows,
people never understand.
people don't know how i live
or the reasoning behind it.
what they don't know
is insignificant to me.
i am only tired of hiding.
people are confused at my life
and why i live the way i do.
why do they judge me?
they have not been in my place.
they do not understand why i
live in the shadows.
it is my getaway.
it is a way for me to see
how they live their own lives.
i can observe them.
but they find it strange and different.
why do they care what i do?
it is my life, not theirs.
why do they have a problem with me?
there is nothing wrong with
living in the shadows.
Wanting to grab his hand,
Wanting to hold him,
Wanting to pray with him,
Wanting,
Hoping,
Longing,
Needing.
Hoping for his hand,
Hoping for his touch,
Hoping he feels the same,
Hoping,
Longing,
Needing.
Longing for his gaze,
Longing to hear his voice,
Longing for his presence,
Longing,
Needing.
Needing his prayers,
Needing his love,
Needing him.
Needing...
a scream in the night.
confusion fills the cold, dark room.
she can contain herself no longer,
but her cry, it is tearless.
she has no more tears left to cry.
they had all been drained
from the guys,
the friends,
the parents,
the school,
the problems.
she attempts to cry,
to let the emotions pour from her soul,
but nothing happens;
it is a tearless cry.
she knows that no one would understand.
she understands that no one would know.
her pain eats away at her heart,
but she cannot tell anyone of this.
all she can do is cry.
but it is tearless.
there is no point in crying anymore.
how can such pain,
such sorrow,
bring ab
an angel, stuck in her personal hell.
she tries to do her best.
she tried to make the best of it all,
but the flames,
they scare her.
the heat seems unbearable.
she tries to fly away,
but her wings,
they are different....
clipped wings.
she cannot leave
because of her clipped wings.
she cannot handle
the pain and torture of hell,
but her wings are clipped.
all she can do now is
pray.
making a decision
trying not to feel
pain is what surrounds me
but with hurt i cannot deal
wondering if they ever
will shut up and go away
i want to be so happy
but the tears continue to stay
i try to hide the fear
i make them think i'm fine
but everything around me
hurts and blows my mind
i cannot talk to anyone
no one understands
they think that i can handle it all
they think i can withstand
i know that god is here
but i do not feel his touch
i need to know he's helping me
because i need him so much
sometimes i want to scream
and let it all out
but i know i must be strong
so i keep it in for now
A.L.B.
I refuse to understand what you are saying.
I will always deny the fact
That you enjoy breaking my heart.
The pain is unbearable.
How do you do this?
How do I handle this?
Can you hear the breaking of my heart?
You do not care for me.
I will always care for you.
But you ignore the truth.
You ignore my feelings.
You ignore my pain.
You ignore the breaking.
Finally happy
Finally content
How can this be?
Is this true?
Is it real?
Maybe not...
But I'm finally happy.
No one can bring me down.
I am happy with myself.
I am happy with the world.
I am happy with most people........
I am happy with him.
Could this be?
No, it can't.
It doesn't happen.
Not to me.
But maybe....
On the highest of clouds
Floating on air
Feeling no pain
Everything disappears around us.
Just me and him.
I feel nothing but the bliss of being with him.
Can this be real?
Pinch me... for nothing can be this great!
I am finally happy.
I've never been so happy,
But I deserve it.
Finally
You see me
You think that you know me
But how can you know me?
You're never around
You're never there
I used to love you
To care about you
But you used me
And abused me
And threw me to the curb.
After I helped you through it all
You took my heart
And slayed it
Stabbed it
Sliced it
Killed it
Yet you pretend
You pretend to care
You pretend to listen
You pretend
Constantly.
You think you know me
But you don't
You think you know all about me
But how can I tell you everything?
I can't even trust you anymore.
I can't believe you
I can't talk to you
I can't even look at you
It hurts
You hurt me deeply
Yet you stil
dear lord
please lord i have a freind that needs to get back with you
please bring balance to her life and family
please let her happiness grow
please let her find peace at church weather it be ours or anothers
please lord let her find her freinds and never worry again
please lord in your name
amen
hanging around my neck
is the cross i bear
my cross of hardships and supposed failures
my gold cross
the precious of the gold
the precious of the cross
the precious of him.
i hold around my neck
my necklace
my reminder
my love
my self-confidence
my dignity
it reminds me of what i have
and when i question
when i wonder
i subconciously grab my cross
and know ...
still around my neck
it sits in silence
in peace.
no one notices but me
although no one has to.
it's mine
and no one would understand
it's significance anyway.
around my neck
is something that has
built my self-esteem.
made me believe in myself.
made me
remember the nature walks,
in the east texas woodlands
burning more than our youth,
fueling supply and demand?
remember when we grew bored
of the same old same old?
and we went on an adventure
and found some new stuff, solid gold.
we would cook up in the dorms,
how badass were we?
we would slam and snort, and drink
ready to get fucked, already crazy.
we would go on roadtrips
with vague destinations
hoping to never crash,
denying accusations.
missed a few classes,
what does it matter?
living drunk or high,
usually the latter.
when it occurs that maybe
i'm too far gone,
i tell myself "dont stop now,
the fun's just begun!"
Why after so many hard years
must I continuously be punished?
I know that many people sacrafice
different things for their love,
but why is that I must be condemned
for being true to myself?
Why does she have to continously be ridiculed,
for taking heart in a forgotten soul?
Why should she be punished for who I am?
All I want is to be who I know I can be,
is this really so hard to ask?
When all the world crumbles,
we'll all be ashes anyway.
There will be no gender,
no race,
no politics,
no orientation,
no religion,
there will be nothing.
We will all lie in the ground
becoming one again with mother earth,
hoping that our f
Current Residence: Texas Favourite genre of music: See above Favourite photographer: T. Williams (The Soul Focus) Personal Quote: It's not leaving that's hard, it's saying goodbye. But sometimes, it's coming ba
Favourite Visual Artist
Claude Monet
Favourite Movies
Se7en, Some Kind of Wonderful, Dead Poets Society, etc.
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
I have an eclectic taste in music; hard to choose just one.
Added 7 new pieces; all is poetry except for one. The other one is prose. I'm trying to find a way to add pics of my artwork on here. I'll get those three pieces up asap.
Go check it out.
So it's been a while. I'm so overwhelmed, stressed, etc... a lot has been going on, most of which I'm not gonna get into
Here's the basic idea:
-Still looking for a job
-May have something set up for the next 3 months
-Doing more poetry
-Working with acrylics
That's about it. Just trying to bring my stress levels down